Andy's Aviation Humour Web Pages

29/11/2017. This site has been off the air for a while since I left my original provider. At moment, it's just a straight port from the original, with the exception of a few spelling corrections and a new page for Bob, without whose nagging the site may have died.

Here are some jokes and other items that have hit my sense of humour over the years. Some of it may even be true!

New! This update. ?? November, 2017
New! The previous update. 16 February, 2015
New! The update before that. 09 August, 2005
(blank) Updated some time ago.  
  Abbreviations What all those abbreviations really mean.
  Achtung! Technical German.
  Active Airfield Look at what you are doing.
  Ahead of the Aircraft Lightning first solo.
Airbus Marketing Longer Larger Farther.
  Air Marshal Santa gets a guard.
  Airsickness Why you should never take a journalist flying.
New! Air Race British fairness exemplified.
  Air Zimbabwe A flight in the bush.
Ansett Australia In flight safety.
New! Announcements Some cabin announcements.
  Anything You Can Do I can do better.
  Approach Aid How to find Heathrow.
  ATC Time How to tell the time.
New! Bob ... just Bob
  Boeing 747 Landing Careful on the round out Hoskins!
  Budget air travel The cheap way to fly.
  Call Sign Confusion British Canadian
  Cartoons Various cartoons.


Monkton 1 - Speedbird 0.
The Cat & Duck Method A novel way to fly on Instruments.
  Cat Downs Plane A catastrophe.
  Cessna 150 Chat Up A Pilots chat up line.
  Chainsaw The Colorado chainsaw massacre.
  Common Language Divided by a Common Language.
  Confirm Received Hotel Radio confusion.
New! Confusing Continents Check the paper-work before you fly.
Continental Why you're not allowed to play in the cockpit!
  Cute Plane Don't pick on the small guy.
  Definitions A few aviation definitions to get you by.
New! DC-4 Prank Don't play with things.
Delta Air Lines Advertising Slogans.
Diary A students' diary.
Don't Drink and Fly Why pilots should never drink and fly.
Eurofighter A woman speaks.
  F/A-37 Talon Exclusive first pictures!
  Fare Deal Special half price fares.
  Fill Her Up Lost student needs fuel.
  Flight Control Software A happy passenger.
New! Flying Flora Italian bride's bouquet downs ultralight.
New! Forrest Fire A photographer takes pictures.
  Friendly Fire Brit Pilot's Punch-up.
New! Fur Paying Passenger A passenger not on the manifest.
Greatest Lies in Aviation Some of the greatest lies in aviation.
  Guess Who? Complacent radio phraseology.
High Flight A new slant on the famous poem.
  Ill Plane Unserviceablity, Chinese style.
  Inertial Navigation A Simple Explanation of Inertial Navigation.
  Instructor Rules Important information for students and PPL's
New! January Sales Manufacturer competition.
  Jargonauts As simple as TFOA.
Killer Kangas A computer story.
  "Lektrik" Defined A definition of "Lektrik" for pilots.
  Maintenance Aircraft Maintenance Problems and Solutions
McDonnell Douglas Customer Feedback
  Messerschmitts Debate at a girl's school
New! Moose Moose brings down helicopter
Midway Air Traffic Control at Midway.
  Murphy's Law The classic laws of aviation.
Moon View of a moon in the air.
  Never Trust a Student Why instructors should never trust a student.
  New Pilot Noise abatement.
No Bike Lane Always look before crossing.
New! Normal Morning Rush Rush hour at London Heathrow.
  Omani Jaguars Cats in the desert.
  On the Radio Overheard on the radio.
New! On the Radio (2) More overheard on the radio.
New! On the Radio (3) Even more overheard on the radio.
  One liner's Aviation sayings and quips.
  Only a Model What's not on the USA munitions list.
  Oops Pilot school drop outs.
  Overnight Stop Result of an overnight stop at Liverpool.
  PA Announcements A Captain and Second Officer's announcements.
New! Parachute Found in the small Ads.
New! PA Messages Some Public Address messages.
Passenger pans airline Bottom marks.
  Pilot Truisms  
  Piper Meets Cessna Look before you land.
New! Plane Spotters Plane spotters join the fight against terrorism.
New! Portable Electronic Devices Public Address to those using gadgets.
  Precision Navigation B52 Bomber visits Farnborough
  Purdy Slick Eastern comes unstuck.
  Questions and Answers Things you've always wanted to know.
New! Route Proving Proving a point
Runaway Seat Runaway seat check list.
  Santa Santa comes unstuck.
Santa's Base Check Renewal the CAA way.
  Scary PA Announcement An unfortunate Public Address announcement.
  Short Field Landings Train reaction.
  Slow Flight How slow can you go?
  Speeding A police story.
  Speed Trap Why there should be no speed traps around airfields.
  Stan the Pilot An interview with St. Peter.
  Stealth A pilot boards his new stealth plane.
  Stolen Has anyone seen our missing Boeing 727?
  Tall Firemen They have tall firemen in Luton.
The Ten Commandments The aviators ten commandments.
  Theft of the Week Security at Cape Town International Airport.
  Three Greens Gear down and locked.
  To Be a Pilot A child's essay.
Trucker One that's not covered in the book!
  Twelve Ways How to Drive Tower Controllers up their Glass Walls.
Weather Prediction A rock solid way to predict the weather.
New! Walking the Dog Things aren't always as they appear.
  Yuckspeak (Series of 1,000,000)
  PowerPoint Microsoft PowerPoint files.
Bibliography Sources of Aviation Humour.


Last updated: 29 November 2017