On the Radio
Sometimes, it's a battle of wits between air-traffic control and the pilot:
| ATC: | "N123YZ, say altitude." | |
| N123YZ: | "ALTITUDE!" | |
| ATC: | "N123YZ, say airspeed." | |
| N123YZ: | "AIRSPEED!" | |
| ATC: | "N123YZ, say cancel IFR." | |
| N123YZ: | "Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated." | |
| Controller: | "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.60. | |
| (pause) | ||
| Controller: | "USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!" | |
| (pause) | ||
| Controller: | "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!" | |
| Pilot: | "Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!" | |
| Tower: | "Alpha Charlie, climb to 4000 ft for noise abatement" | |
| Pilot: | "How can I possibly be creating excess noise at 2000 ft?" | |
| Tower: | "At 4000 ft you will miss the twin coming at you at 2000 ft, and that is bound to avoid one hell of a racket". | |
| Controller: | "Air Force 53, it appears your engine has... oh... disregard, I see you've already ejected." | |
| Cessna 152: | "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred" | |
| Controller: | "Roger, contact Houston Space Center" | |
| Unknown Aircraft: | "I'm f...ing bored!". | |
| Air Traffic Control: | "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!" | |
| Unknown Aircraft: | I said I was bored, not stupid!" | |
| New! | A Piper Cherokee (PA28) is holding short of the runway to allow a DC-8 to land. | |
| DC-8: | "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" | |
| PA28: | "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one. | |
| New! | A student is hopelessly lost on a cross country flight: | |
| ATC: | "What was your last known position?" | |
| Student: | "When I was number one for takeoff" | |
Last updated: 16 February 2015