On the Radio

Sometimes, it's a battle of wits between air-traffic control and the pilot:

  ATC: "N123YZ, say altitude."
  N123YZ:  "ALTITUDE!" 
  ATC: "N123YZ, say airspeed." 
  N123YZ:   "AIRSPEED!" 
  ATC: "N123YZ, say cancel IFR." 
  N123YZ:  "Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated." 
  Controller:  "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.60.
  Controller:  "USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!"
  Controller:   "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!"
  Pilot:   "Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!"
  Tower:   "Alpha Charlie, climb to 4000 ft for noise abatement"
  Pilot:   "How can I possibly be creating excess noise at 2000 ft?"
  Tower:   "At 4000 ft you will miss the twin coming at you at 2000 ft, and that is bound to avoid one hell of a racket".
  Controller:  "Air Force 53, it appears your engine has... oh... disregard, I see you've already ejected."
  Cessna 152:  "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred" 
  Controller:   "Roger, contact Houston Space Center"
  Unknown Aircraft:  "I'm f...ing bored!".
  Air Traffic Control:  "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!" 
  Unknown Aircraft:  I said I was bored, not stupid!"
New! A Piper Cherokee (PA28) is holding short of the runway  to allow a DC-8 to land.
  DC-8: "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
  PA28: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one.
New! A student is hopelessly lost on a cross country flight:
  ATC: "What was your last known position?"
  Student: "When I was number one for takeoff"


Last updated: 16 February 2015