Definitions
Here are a few irreverent definitions:
| Airspeed | An aircraft's speed. (Deduct 25% when listening to a homebuilder). |
| Bank | The people who own most of a pilot's car. |
| Carburettor Icing | A phenomenon reported by pilots just after they run out of fuel. |
| Cone of Confusion | An area about the size of Hampshire located near the final approach beacon at at airport. |
| Crab | A VFR instructor's attitude on an IFR day. |
| Destination | Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot's bladder saturation point. |
| Engine Failure | A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air. |
| Firewall | Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit. |
| Flight Following | Formation flying |
| Glide Distance | Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field. |
| Hobbs | An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction. |
| Hydroplane | An aircraft designed to land long on a short wet runway. |
| IFR | A method of flying by needle and horoscope. |
| Lean Mixture | Non-alcoholic beer. |
| Nanosecond | The time delay between the low fuel warning light coming on and the onset of carburettor icing. |
| Parachutes | The two 'chutes in a Stearman. |
| Parasitic Drag | A pilot who bums a ride and then complains about the service. |
| Range | Usually about three miles short of the destination. |
| Rich Mixture | What you order at another pilots promotion party. |
| Roger | Used when you're not too sure what else to say on the radio. |
| Spoilers | CAA or FAA inspectors. |
| Stall | Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late. |
| Turn and Bank Indicator | An instrument largely ignored by pilots. |
| Useful Load | Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight. |
Last updated: 16 February, 2003 20:03