PA Announcements

In the 1980's an old, crusty Captain was flying with a new, green Second Officer on a British Air Ferries Viscount.

On the first leg the Second Officer was the handling pilot and although he worked hard in the flare, he did a landing that can only be described as positive. As they vacated the runway and without a word to the Second Officer, the Captain picked up the PA microphone and made an announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Captain speaking. I would like to thank you for flying British Air Ferries today and look forward to flying with you again. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for the landing which was performed by the Second Officer. He's young and has only just learned to fly. I'm sure that with a bit of effort he will eventually learn how to land."

The Second Officer bit his tongue and taxied to the apron.

Nothing more was said about the incident during the turn around or during the return flight with the Captain the handling pilot. Unfortunately, during the flare it all went wrong and the aircraft hit the ground with considerable force. As they vacated the runway and without a word to the Captain, the Second Officer picked up the PA microphone, pressed the button and made an announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Second Officer speaking. I would like to thank you for flying British Air Ferries today and look forward to flying with you again. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for the landing which was performed by the Captain. He's getting on a bit and his reactions are not what they used to be. I'm sure that you'll wish him well in his retirement."

The Captain exploded in rage: "What on earth did you think you were doing?". (Or words to that effect).

"You did the same thing to me on the first landing" said the First Officer.

"Yes", said the Captain, "The only difference was that I didn't press the button on the microphone and no one else heard me!"

Last updated: 18 June, 2003 14:49